


The Knight's Dilemma

by QianLan



Series: Same Universe, Different Day [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Cheesy Romance Novels, First Time, M/M, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-23 18:58:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7476006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QianLan/pseuds/QianLan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Do ex-Stormtroopers know anything about sex?  Are hotshot pilots oblivious to flirting?  How long can they remain in this holding pattern?</p><p>Poe and Finn are circling each other, and the frustration is building.  Thankfully, all it takes is Poe’s secret stash of cheesy romance novels to get them talking and then to get them to shut up and focus on what’s right in front of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Knight's Dilemma

 

In the few months since Starkiller, Finn had become a constant presence in Poe’s room.  Not that Poe minded.  Well, he didn’t mind it so much as…okay, he might have minded a little.  Not because Finn was intruding, but because Finn always being around was a bit distracting.  Finn was just so good at being Finn— _Finn, with those big kissable lips and huge puppy dog eyes and that flawless, well-toned, smooth, touchable skin…_ Poe promised himself he wasn’t going to make things awkward by hitting on his friend.  So, Poe endured his crush in silence.  Well, Poe endured.  He was bad at the whole silence thing. 

 

Tonight, though, Finn insisted on silence.  He was reading.  Poe kept trying to sneak glances at whatever it was that Finn had managed to pull up on his datapad, but Finn was having none of it.  Occasionally, though, Finn would snort or laugh or lift his eyebrows and just stare at Poe in quiet disbelief.  It was enough to drive anyone to distraction.  Which was why, as Finn’s eyebrow raised for what felt like the hundredth time, Poe finally huffed, “Stop it.”

 

Finn looked up, the picture of innocence.

 

“I don’t know what you’re reading, but whatever it is…”

 

“You really like this stuff?” Finn asked, turning the datapad so that Poe could see what had been occupying him for the last hour.  Poe inwardly groaned. _Kriff!  He found the romance novels_.

 

Poe liked all kinds of erotica, and his porn collection was—in his humble opinion—one of the best on base.  And while he also knew that in some parts of the galaxy, beings had strong opinions on sex that often translated into judgmental looks and disapproving _tsks_ whenever it was merely mentioned—let alone enjoyed—most of Poe’s friends were open about sex.  There was very little sex shame among the pilots.  Live and let live and all of that. 

 

Truth be told, though, Poe’s fondness for cheesy romance novels was something entirely different, and he did try to keep that on the down low.  If Jess or Snap ever found out, he’d never hear the end of it.

 

As embarrassed as Poe was that Finn had stumbled onto his secret stash ( _and how did he find those anyway?_ ), Poe was more worried that Finn might be uncomfortable talking about sex.  He had been actively avoiding the subject for the past few weeks.  Once Finn had been cleared for duty (and Poe assumed, all other kinds of recreational activities), Poe promised himself he’d let Finn come to things in his own time, especially sex. 

 

Now, though, it seemed like they were going to have to have _the talk_.  The First Order would be just the type of organization to attach a stigma to sex, that is if they even bothered to talk about it at all, so Poe figured he had his work cut out for him.  He sighed.  “Look, Finn, I know that the First Order probably wasn’t keen on talking about sex…”

 

“You’re kidding, right?  Do you know how many Stormtroopers there were?  They talked about sex; they talked _a lot_ about sex.  They had to.  Too many bodies running around not to.”

 

“So you know about sex?”

 

Finn blinked, hoping he’d misheard what had to be the stupidest question ever.  Poe read the look correctly and quickly moved on, “And I take it, um, you’ve had sex?”

 

Finn gave him another incredulous look.  “Yes, Poe.  I’ve had sex.” 

 

“So, the Order just didn’t want you _enjoying_ sex?”

 

Finn shot Poe another _are you stupid_ look and sighed.  “I mean, we weren’t supposed to be distracted by it, and we weren’t supposed to become attached, but there was nothing specific about not enjoying sex.”  _Isn’t that kind of the point_ , Finn thought to himself.

 

Poe didn’t have a response to that; it was as if his understanding of the galaxy suddenly shifted 180-degrees.  _The First Order lets people have recreational sex.  What the kriff?_    “Then, wait.  If you aren’t offended by the sex, what’s wrong with my novels?”

 

Finn cocked his head.  “Have you actually read them, Poe?”  Finn picked up the datapad and chose a passage at random: “Dex pushed his hands into Raymund’s shirt, ripping it.  _Yes_ , cried Raymund.  _Yes, Dex, please_!  As the tattered remains of the shirt fell to the ground, Dex shoved Raymund hard against the bed.  _You’re a dangerous man, Raymund Gray, for making me want you, and tonight I’m going to punish you for it_.  Dex leered at Raymund, and then, as his mouth closed around Raymund’s, Raymund thought that this was one punishment he was truly looking forward to taking.”  Finn dissolved into a fit of giggles.  “Who talks like that?  You’re a dangerous man for making me want you?”

 

Poe’s entire body was blushing deep red.  He grabbed at the datapad, but Finn pulled it out of his grasp.  “Come on, it’s not that bad.  Besides, it’s fantasy,” Poe said.

 

“Fantasy?  This?”  Finn found another passage: “Dex smiled as Raymund’s moans grew even louder; he wanted the entire ship to hear the sounds of pleasure escaping from his conquest.  _Yes, like that.  Let them know who you belong to_!  _Scream out for me!_ ”  Finn shook his head, still laughing.  “I just don’t get it.”

 

“What, fantasy?”

 

“No, I get fantasizing.  I love fantasizing.  I even understand the whole _I hate you but not really because I want to fuck you_ thing. I’ve heard all about the General and Han, after all, but…”  It was just hanging there.  Poe felt all of that sex shame he prided himself on never having slowly rising through his system.  Finn finally said, “It’s just so badly written.”

 

Poe’s shame spiral stopped abruptly.  “Wait, what?”

 

“The writing.  It’s unrealistic.  Come on, Poe, is that really what you’d say to someone you were ravishing?”  Finn continued, “I mean, I’ve tried to read four of these now, and they’re all the same.  Same plot.  Same bad writing.” 

 

Finn flicked across the screen, reading some of the titles: “ _The Pirate and the Prince.   The Moisture Farmer’s Delight.  The Coruscant Conundrum.  The General and the Flyboy_.”  He looked up at Poe.  “And don’t think we’re not going to talk about _that_ one later.”  Poe suddenly found the floor very interesting.  “But yeah, with each of them, it’s the same thing.  The two guys hate each other, but they’re secretly attracted to each other.  Then, they're forced to be alone together.  They have sex; they fall in love, but they won’t admit it.  Then, they’re torn apart but realize they need each other.  In the end, they find each other again and have some more mind-blowing sex.  Happily ever after.”  Finn rolled his eyes.  “Yeah, right.  I wish that was how it happened in real life.”  He put down the datapad.  “Look, rote plots are one thing, but the way they talk to each other?  It’s like a droid wrote this.  And not BB-8.  I’m talking Threepio when he gets going.”  Finn shook his head.  “That’s not how people talk when they’re having sex.  At least it isn’t in my experience.”

 

Poe suddenly thought about how Finn might talk during sex, how Finn’s voice might get all low and husky, how it might feel, hearing Finn say absolutely depraved things. _Doing absolutely depraved things,_ his brain added.Everything got uncomfortably warm.  Finn tore him from his thoughts as he said, “I just don’t know how you can read this.”

 

“So, it’s not the fact that I like smut that you have a problem with so much as you think it’s low quality smut?”

 

Finn shrugged.  “I mean, I’d probably want a bit more variation in the storylines, but yeah, it’s the way they talk, Poe.  It’s way too damn much!”

 

Poe looked crestfallen, so Finn explained, “I mean, I’m all for dirty talk, but there is sexy and then there’s just giving a blow-by-blow commentary.  It takes me right out of it.  Sometimes it’s a turn on _not_ to talk about every little thing you’re doing.  Sometimes not talking is sexy.”  Poe was having a hard time believing that; he really wanted to hear filthy Finn let loose. 

 

Finn shook his head, “You’re a dangerous man for making me want you?  Come on!”

 

Poe leaned back against the wall and scrubbed his hand over his face.  “Fair enough.”  He reached out for the datapad, which Finn handed to him.  Poe scrolled through the titles until he found what he was looking for.  “Here, try this one.”  He handed the pad back to Finn. 

 

“ _The Knight’s Dilemma_?” Finn asked. 

 

“Just give it ten minutes,” Poe said.  Finn settled in, clearly unconvinced, and started reading.

 

Poe kept a close eye on the time.  Ten minutes passed.  Then twenty.  After forty, Poe had to ask, “So, what do you think?”

 

Finn didn’t hear him at first.  “Hmmmm?  Oh, wait a sec…”  Finn read for two more paragraphs.  He looked up.  “This is what I’m talking about!  Why in the galaxy do you read that banthashit when there’s this?  This is fantastic, Poe!  It’s well written, and it’s sensuous as hell.” 

 

Poe had a huge, eye-crinkling smile on his face.  “Thought you’d like that one, buddy.”

 

Finn smiled back.  For a moment, the two of them simply enjoyed being lost in each other's eyes.  Then, Finn seemed to realize the time.  “Kriff!” He jerked up.  “I didn’t mean to stay so late.  Ummmm, do you think I could borrow your pad?  Just until tomorrow?  I’d like to finish…” 

 

Poe’s smile got even wider.  “Of course.”  Finn got up to leave.  Poe said, “Oh, and don’t tell any of the pilots about these novels.  They’d never let us hear the end of it.” 

 

Finn looked back at Poe.  “What’s in it for me, Dameron, if I keep your secret?”

 

“It’s your secret too, Finn.”

 

“Yeah,” Finn said, pausing at the door, “but somehow I don’t think the pilots would give me the same kind of grief they’d give you if they found out.  Everyone here seems to think I’m some sort of innocent virgin, so they let a lot slide where I’m concerned.”

 

Poe threw his head back and laughed.  “You really like the fact that we’ve all been underestimating you, don’t you?”

 

“Well, I figured I could get upset or I could use it to my advantage.”  Finn’s eyes twinkled.  “This way is more fun.”  Finn’s voice got low.  “So, I repeat, Commander, what’s in it for me if I keep your secret?”

 

 _Oh two can play this game, Finn._   Poe walked towards the door, crowding Finn a bit.  He leaned in and whispered, “Anything you want, Finn.  Anything.  You.  Want.”

 

For a beat, neither of them breathed.  Then, Finn smiled the tiniest of smiles, backed out of the room, and let the door slide shut between them. 

 

As the door closed, both men had the same thought: _he was flirting with me, right?_

 

**# # # #**

 

Finn fell asleep reading _The Knight’s Dilemma_ and nearly missed a meeting the next morning trying to finish it.  By the time he stopped by Poe’s room after dinner, though, he was finished and itching to talk about it with someone.

 

Finn flopped back onto Poe’s bed.  “Thanks for letting me borrow this,” he said, handing back the datapad.

 

“The Resistance really needs to get you one of your own or at least your own datachip.  I know money is tight, what with relocating and all, but still.  How else are you going to start your own collection of smutty novels?”  Poe raised both eyebrows and grinned.

 

Finn ignored him.  “But that’s just it!  This wasn’t smut.  I mean, okay yeah, it was smut, but there was real feeling to it, and it was arousing as hell.”

 

Poe tried not to let that comment get to him, but the thought of Finn _aroused_ did things to him. “Really?  You thought it was arousing?”  Poe’s voice might have gone up just a bit as he asked that.  _Damn you, voice!_

 

Thankfully, Finn didn’t seem to notice.  “Are you kidding?  That scene when Kal decides to sneak out of the Jedi temple and visit Zeru, the one where neither of them talks, and they just make love for hours and hours...”  Finn suddenly realized what he was talking about and blushed.  “Yeah, that was, ummm…it was okay.  Definitely not the worst thing I’ve ever read.”  _Did Poe’s room suddenly get hot?_

 

“You liked that scene?” Poe asked, his voice barely a whisper.  “No talking?  Just…”

 

“Yeah, but they’d already done all of the talking.  This was just a confirmation; it was Kal’s way of telling Zeru that he wasn’t just going to blindly follow the Jedi code, that they were going to make it work somehow.  Plus, it wasn’t all of that bluster and _I’m going to ravish you_ nonsense.  This was two grown men in love, worshipping each other's bodies.  No words, no promises they can’t keep, no distractions.  Just the two of them focused on each other.  Isn’t that what you want when you’re with someone?” 

 

Finn suddenly realized that all of Poe’s attention was aimed at him; there was no smirk, no witty remark.  Poe’s eyes were wide, hopeful even.  This was Poe, unshielded, vulnerable—Poe at his most real—and it was terrifying, like being caught in a tractor beam.  Finn felt his skin prickle as he dared to meet Poe’s eyes.  “It was lovely,” Finn said quietly.  

 

“Lovely,” Poe repeated.

 

 _We’re not talking about the story anymore, are we?_ Finn hoped.  He opened his mouth to say as much when a loud banging on Poe’s door killed the mood.  “Poe,” yelled Snap.  “You in there?”

 

Poe closed his eyes.  “Snap?” Poe’s voice had a sharp edge to it.  “What is it?”  He jumped up.  The door slid open, and Snap looked from Poe to Finn and back again.  “Oh, sorry.  I…ummmm, we wanted your input on some of the modifications to the X-wings, but I can…”

 

Finn rose.  “No, don’t worry.  I was just returning Poe’s datapad.”  He moved past Poe, briefly letting his hand brush against Poe’s shoulder.  “Thanks again for letting me borrow it.”  Finn squeezed Poe’s shoulder as he slid out of the room.  When he turned the corner at the end of the hall, Snap said to Poe, “I’m so sorry, man.  I didn’t know.”

 

Poe shook his head.  “No, buddy, it’s fine,” he said, but his voice betrayed him.  “Let’s go see what you guys have cooked up.”  Poe took in a huge breath and let it out before running both hands through his hair.

 

**# # # #**

 

Poe hadn’t slept much that night, and the next morning, he kept scanning spaces for Finn, hoping to see him and steal him away so that the two of them could have a few minutes alone to talk about…  That was the problem.  Neither of them had actually _said_ anything.  There had been plenty of flirting, and then, there was that moment Snap had so beautifully wrecked last night, but not a single word had been said yet, and it was driving Poe crazy.

 

During an afternoon briefing with the General, a few new leads on possible locations of First Order bases came in.  Before he knew it, Poe was saluting the General and leaving command, scheduled to embark on a three-week mission the next morning.  “Kriff!” he yelled as he left the room.  “Kriffing bantha-milking nerfherder!”  He kicked the wall.  He needed to find Finn this instant.  He was not going to sit in his X-wing for the better part of three weeks playing _what if_ in his head.

 

After looking in the usual places—the target range, the mess, Finn’s room—Poe gave up.  He needed to do a pre-flight check and get things squared away before the mission.  With any luck, Finn would stop by his room after dinner, and they could finally talk.

 

**# # # #**

 

Finn grunted through one last pull up, sweat pouring down his back.  He’d hoped, after a restless night and a morning spent trying—and failing—to find Poe, that a good workout would keep his mind off of last night. 

 

Finn let himself fall to the mat.  There weren’t many people in the gym at this time of day.  That was one of the reasons he decided to come out here.  That’s why Finn felt free to growl in frustration as he bent down to get his towel.  _Stupid Snap and the stupid mods to the X-wings.  They couldn’t have waited five more minutes.  Seriously!  Five more minutes and we would have been…oh who am I kidding?  At the rate Poe and I are going, we’re never going to have sex!_   Finn threw down the towel.  He wasn’t mad at Snap, not really.  He was mad at himself and a little bit at Poe.

 

 _How much flirting do I need to do before he gets the hint_ , Finn wondered.  _How much flirting before I work up the nerve to talk to him about it?_   Finn decided a nice brisk run around the base was what he needed.

 

It was nearly time for dinner when Finn got back.  Every bit of him hurt, and he really needed a quick trip to the fresher.  That’s the only reason he didn’t stop by Poe’s room.  At least that’s what he told himself.  _Besides, I’ll see him at dinner.  We’ll talk then_.

 

**# # # #**

 

Poe wasn’t at dinner.  Jess caught Finn looking through the crowds gathered in the mess as he sat down.  “He’s probably getting ready for the mission.”

 

“Who?  Poe?  Mission?  What mission?”

 

“Poe’s leaving tomorrow.  Something about scouting potential First Order bases.”  Jess shoved a piece of bread into her mouth.

 

“How long?”

 

“A few weeks,” Jess said.

 

Finn bit his lip.  _Weeks?_  He lost his appetite.

 

“He’s probably in his room if you wanted to stop by and talk before he leaves,” Jess offered between bites.  She was wearing the sort of smile that the pilots thought Finn didn’t understand.  Someday soon he was going to have to disabuse them of that notion.  Not today, though.

 

“Yeah,” Finn said, standing.  “Good idea.”

 

Jess happily snatched the bread off of Finn’s tray as Finn left the table.

 

Finn was in a hallway two turns away from Poe’s door when the realization struck him. 

 

What he’d told Poe had been the truth.  The First Order didn’t hide sex from the Stormtroopers; there was plenty of sex education, and while they were never necessarily _encouraged_ to enjoy sex, it hadn’t been frowned upon, either. 

 

But for the most part—at least in Finn’s experience—sex didn’t come attached to emotions.  It was merely a way feel good, a temporary high.  You didn’t do it with someone because you cared about them.  You did it because you both wanted to get off.  As a Stormtrooper, Finn had never considered what it might be like to have sex with someone he really cared about.  That simply wasn’t possible.  Now, though, it was, and standing in a hallway on the Resistance base, Finn let the weight of that overwhelm him.

 

As much as he’d wanted to just cut through the flirting and do the deed, Finn was entirely unprepared for the prospect of sex being anything more than a physical act.  He leaned against the wall _.  I like him_ , he thought _.  I really like him, and I don’t just want sex, I want…_   Finn wasn’t even sure what to call what he wanted.  He wanted to be with Poe and to sleep next to Poe and to laugh with Poe and…  _Force, I want to be in a relationship with Poe_.  And then the hollow feeling in his stomach hit.  _What if he’s only interested in sex?_ Finn slid down to the ground, pulling his knees up to his chest.

 

**# # # #**

 

Finn hadn’t come by his room yet, and Poe started to worry.  It wasn’t late, but Finn usually had dinner early.  Poe kept glancing at the door, waiting for Finn to knock.  _Kriffing hell, Finn!  Where are you?_   Then, Poe’s thoughts turned dark.  _What if I scared him off last night?  No.  No, right?  We were both…_ Poe forced himself to go down a different mental path.  That’s when he panicked.  _What if something happened to him?  What if he re-injured his back?_   Poe jumped up from his desk and charged out the door. 

 

Two turns later, he froze.  Finn was sitting in the middle of the hallway, his head bowed to his knees.  “Finn?  You okay, buddy?”

 

Finn didn’t move his head.  “Yeah, I’m fine.”

 

Poe came up next to him, sliding down the wall to sit beside him.  “You don’t look it.  Everything good?  It’s not your back, is it?”

 

“No,” Finn said.  He let out a long breath and looked at Poe.  “Just about the time I think I’ve got this figured out, something happens.”  Poe looked confused, so Finn explained, “Still adjusting to life outside the Order.”

 

“Oh,” Poe said quietly.  “That’s all.” He smiled and bumped Finn’s shoulder.  Finn smiled.  “Yeah, nothing much.”  Finn let his head fall forward again and rubbed his face with his hands.  “I hear you’re going on a mission tomorrow.”

 

“Oh, yeah.  Going to follow up on some intel on possible First Order bases.  Should be uneventful.”

 

Finn laughed.  “Yeah, right.”

 

Poe put both his hands on his head.  “Yeah, well, we can always hope.”  Finn nodded.  He then took a deep breath.  _In the end, it’s not about the sex, is it?_   “Be careful, Poe.  Don’t do anything stupid.  I need you to come back in one piece.”

 

“That’s the plan,” Poe said.

 

Finn waited a moment and then pushed himself up.  “I mean it, Poe.  I care about you.  A lot.”  Finn shook his head.  “No, it’s more than that.  I’m attracted to you; I _like_ you, and I’m hoping you feel the same way about me.”  He offered a dumbstruck Poe his hand.  He pulled Poe up and into a hug.  “Come back to me,” Finn whispered in his ear. 

 

Finn let Poe go and waited a second, but it was clear that Poe was in shock.  _Good shock or bad shock_ , Finn asked himself before his instincts kicked in: _Give him some space_.  He began walking back towards his room.  When he came to the end of the hall, he turned back to look at Poe, who was still standing where he’d left him.  Poe came out of his daze in time to call after Finn, “I care about you, too. I, yeah, I _like_ you.  I promise I’ll be careful.”  Finn nodded and disappeared around the corner and smiled.  _Definitely good shock._

 

**# # # #**

 

It should have made him feel better, but it didn’t.  Poe knew that Finn cared about him, and he had finally managed to get the words out to Finn too.  But now, he was standing in his room, a three-week mission set to start in a little more than six hours and he felt even worse than he had before he’d found Finn.  _We can’t leave it like that_ , he thought, as he began pacing.  _Fuuuuuuck!  What is with our timing?_

 

Poe fell back onto his bed.  _Why didn’t I kiss him?  Kriffing hell!  We could’ve kissed!  How did we manage to make this worse?_   Poe reached for his datapad, closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  When he opened his eyes, he thought, _We’ll talk about this when I get back.  That would be the mature thing to do.  Clear heads.  No timetable looming over us_.  _Have a proper first kiss._   He refused to fantasize about that kiss.  Instead, he scrolled through a few messages, flipped through his itinerary, and then found the folder where he hid his romance novels.  He opened the file for _The Knight’s Dilemma._   Finn had left it on his favorite scene.

 

_Kal was a Jedi Knight, and the code was very clear: no romantic attachments.  Yet, Kal knew deep in his bones that the code was wrong.  What he and Zeru shared wasn’t a hindrance, it helped him, centered him in a way that nothing else could._

_When they’d parted that afternoon, Zeru told him that he’d accept whatever decision Kal came to.  Being a Jedi was important.  There were so many threats to the galaxy, and Zeru wouldn’t be selfish, no matter what he felt.  Kal paced his room.  ‘This isn’t selfish,’ he thought.  ‘Love isn’t selfish.’_

_Kal found himself marching out of his room, keeping to the back passages and methodically working his way out of the temple.  It was as if his body instinctively knew what he should do.  ‘The Jedi are wrong about this,’ he told himself.  He began to run.  He wasn’t going to waste another minute now that he’d made up his mind._

_It was nearing midnight as he reached Zeru’s hut.  He knocked, and he could hear Zeru move to the door.  “Kal,” he whispered.  “Is everything—”_

_Kal didn’t let him finish.  He stepped forward, taking Zeru’s face in his hands and enveloping him in a kiss…_

 

Poe put down the datapad.  “It’s a totally different situation,” he said to no one.  “There’s no code standing between us; when I get back, we’ll sit down and talk and start this out the way you’re supposed to.”  He closed his eyes and rubbed his face.  “Mature adults.  We’re being mature adults…”  He suddenly pictured himself standing in front of Finn, kissing Finn, pushing Finn back towards a bed in a darkened room.  _No.  It would complicate everything_ , Poe thought. Then, as he found himself pushing out of bed, _I can’t believe I’m using a romance novel to help make major life decisions._

 

**# # # #**

 

Finn stared at the ceiling of his room.  He was still finding it strange to have a space entirely to himself.  He was so used to the Stormtrooper barracks that he found he missed the sounds of other people breathing and shifting in the night.  _That’s why I’m awake_ , Finn told himself.  _It’s too quiet.  I’m not awake because of Poe.  In fact, I should be proud of myself.  I told him I cared about him and he told me he cares about me, and when he gets back, we can sit down like two adults and have a conversation…and then finally have sex._   Finn smiled a bit.  _It’s only a few weeks_.

 

There was a knock on Finn’s door.  “Who is it?”

 

There was no answer, but whoever it was knocked again.  Finn got out of bed and opened the door.  Poe stood there, leaning forward, eyes wild.  Finn inadvertently took a step back.  “Poe, I—”  Poe put a finger on Finn’s lips and shook his head.  He gently pushed Finn back into the room, his voice was rougher than usual: “No words, no promises we can’t keep.  Just two people focused on each other.”

 

As the door slid shut, Poe ran his hand down Finn’s arm, his fingers trailing through the fabric. Poe marveled at the touch of him—even through the shirt, he could feel the heat radiating off of Finn’s body.  It burned in the best possible way.  Poe grabbed Finn’s hand and looked up at him, squeezing it lightly.  _Please understand what I’m going for here_.

 

Finn’s eyes were on their joined hands.  After a moment, Finn squeezed back, smiling.  He looked up and gave Poe a small nod. Poe’s free hand moved to the side of Finn’s face, his thumb tracing Finn’s cheekbones.  He swallowed, trying to ground himself.  He _needed_ to remember this.  He had to memorize the lines of Finn’s face, the way Finn looked at this very moment.  _What if this mission is like the last one?  What if I don’t make it back this time?_

 

Finn tugged on Poe’s hand, pulling him out of his thoughts as he drew him forward.  Finn brushed his lips against Poe’s, and for several seconds, the kiss stayed airy, lips barely grazing, both men tentative, playful. 

 

Finn opened his mouth, breathing in a bit of Poe and sighing as he pushed the kiss deeper.  He wrapped an arm around Poe’s neck, shifting his body into Poe’s, discovering it fit there.  Poe’s hands found the small of Finn’s back, his fingers gathering up the fabric of his shirt and clenching it.  They lost track of time in this dance of bodies: one leg bracketing another, the low hums and moans of a kiss, the feel of the other’s chest as it rose and fell in an irregular rhythm.  When either would pull back, to catch his breath or readjust, the other would lean forward, not wanting to miss a second of contact.

 

Poe mouth sunk to Finn’s throat.  He licked a long line down Finn’s neck, and as his tongue played across Finn’s skin, he discovered that Finn tasted both salty and sweet—some indescribable new taste called _Finn_.  He swirled his tongue at the base of Finn’s neck to get more of it.  Finn moaned, turning his head to give Poe better access.  Poe couldn’t remember ever hearing a sweeter sound in all his life.

 

Finn let his head rest on Poe’s shoulder, nuzzling, loving the way Poe’s tongue felt on him. His nose pushed at Poe’s collar, so he could taste too.  Finn came upon the sweetest spot on Poe’s neck and sucked, loving the little keening noises Poe was making.  He wanted more, though, so he began to lick quick strokes up Poe’s neck to his ear, tracing it ever so lightly.  His teeth found Poe’s earlobe, and he tugged gently.  Poe voice broke in a yelp.  He’d gone up on his toes, fingers spasming against Finn’s back.  Finn smiled.  He’d need to remember that for later. 

 

As Finn moved his mouth back down Poe’s neck, he began drawing circles across one of Poe’s hands with his fingers, lightly tracing each digit.  Finn raised the hand, rubbing his lips against the knuckles, taking the time to enjoy the feeling of Poe’s skin on his lips.  He brushed a kiss there, then two.  He closed his eyes to breathe in the smell of Poe—oil and sweat and something he couldn’t quite figure—and it was so perfect he ached, knowing that it was all going to be gone for the next three weeks.  He rubbed his lips across the back of Poe’s hand again.  He had to remember the sensation of his lips on Poe.  He had to.

 

After a heartbeat, Finn moved up to clasp his lips over Poe’s.  This kiss was more insistent than their earlier ones, far less patient.  Poe seemed to feel it too as his teeth tugged at Finn’s bottom lip.  Finn let out a groan as Poe pulled just a bit.

 

As Poe relinquished Finn’s lip, he smiled, his eyes going all crinkly.  Finn was fairly certain there was nothing sexier than those laugh lines.  He moved to kiss them and then got distracted by Poe’s forehead, his cheeks, his chin, and then his lips were moving anywhere he could get them.  Finn drug in quick breaths in between kisses.  He began moving backwards, trying to draw Poe to the bed with him.

 

Poe refused to move forward, cupping Finn’s perfect ass and squeezing hard, hauling Finn back.  They were going to take their time with this.  That was the point.  His lips found Finn’s again, and the desire to go slowly quickly got drowned out by raw need.  Poe’s body acted on instinct.  Things sped up—these kisses were hungry, desperate. They pawed at each other, tugging, panting.  Finn pushed Poe back far enough to get his hands on Poe’s jacket, yanking it off.  Poe reached for Finn’s shirt, lifting it over his head and letting it fall to the floor.  His hands ghosted across Finn’s chest.  He didn’t even know where to begin—it all looked so good.

 

Poe was suddenly on his knees in front of Finn, unbuttoning Finn’s pants, his movements jerky, hurried.  As his fingers fumbled, they grazed the bare skin just above the top of Finn’s pants, and Finn trembled.  Poe realized he was shaking too.  He smiled up at Finn, whose hand moved to the top of Poe’s head, fingers carding through the pilot’s hair, tugging softly.  Poe closed his eyes and leaned into the tug.  As Finn pulled just a bit harder, Poe let out an absolutely filthy sound.  Finn’s cock twitched.

 

Poe let Finn’s pants drop.  He looked up, taking just a moment to marvel at Finn’s body.  Even in the low light of the room, it was resplendent.  Rock hard but somehow still soft lines, begging to be touched.  He wanted to tell Finn this, wanted to list off every magnificent feature of Finn’s body, but he choked out a whine instead.  He pressed a kiss to one thigh and then the other, letting his head linger there, loving the smell of Finn, rubbing his face against Finn’s overheated skin.  Poe ran his hands up the back of Finn’s legs.  

 

Poe felt Finn tugging at his shirt and stood, lifting his arms to help.  Finn had to fight the urge to tell Poe just how appetizing he looked, all of the filthy things he wanted to do to him with his mouth.  Instead, Finn licked his lips and moved in.  He rolled his tongue around one of Poe’s nipples slowly, teasingly.  Poe let out a cry, his hands clutching at Finn, trying to hold him in place.  Finn swirled his tongue once more before letting himself fall to his knees, tasting as much of Poe’s stomach as possible—licking, kissing, nibbling until he was just above the line of Poe’s underwear.  

 

There were still far too many clothes.  Finn reached for Poe’s left boot, tugging it off in one smooth motion.  He worked the right boot off.  Finn unclasped Poe’s belt, wrenching it free.  He made quick work of the buttons on Poe’s pants and let them fall.  He looked up at Poe and licked his lips again.  Poe looked down at him, his breathing ragged.

 

They were both aroused.  That was clear.  But Finn forced himself to take his time.  He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and then bent forward, kissing Poe’s cock through his underwear.  He looked up.  Poe’s mouth was open, his pupils blown.  Finn smiled as he slowly pulled the underwear down, letting it creep down Poe’s legs, rubbing him, taunting him.  Poe started whimpering.  Finn’s smile grew.  He puffed a hot breath onto Poe’s cock but saved his kisses for the delectable skin of Poe’s stomach.  The whimpering turned into a tormented whine.  Poe was grabbing at Finn, pulling him up and pushing him towards the bed.

 

Finn laughed as they stumbled across the room.  Poe’s hands found Finn’s head and crushed their lips together.  This kiss was sloppy, fully of teeth and wanting, and Finn could hear himself making beseeching little noises as Poe pulled back.  Finn bent his head towards the bed.  Poe nodded vigorously.  Finn turned, divesting himself of his underwear, but before he could get into the bed, Poe came up behind him, wrapping his arms around Finn, pressing their bodies together.  Poe’s erection brushed against Finn’s ass.  Finn pushed into it, ever so slightly, desperate to feel more. 

 

Poe swept a kiss across the back of Finn’s neck.  He flinched at the feel of Poe’s stubble and gasped.  He could sense Poe’s smile as Poe started rubbing the stubble up and down his shoulder, nearly purring with self-satisfaction.  It tickled, but Finn leaned into it anyway, closing his eyes.  He shivered.  It felt so good—almost too good.  Part of his body wanted to arch away.  The sensation was overwhelming.

 

As Poe’s mouth came back to his neck, Finn turned his head, moving his hand up to Poe’s jaw, drawing him in, kissing him hard.  Suddenly, they were on the bed, hands clutching, legs intertwining, lips exploring.  They were both hot and sweaty, skin slid against skin. 

 

Finn found Poe’s arms, capturing them, and rolled them until he was on top of Poe.  As their hips aligned, Finn rocked into Poe and their cocks grazed each other.  Poe threw his head back in a soft sob.  It was a magnificent sight, and Finn’s hand followed the line of Poe’s throat to hold him there with his head back, Finn’s thumb stroking Poe’s jaw.  Finn’s lips followed his hand as he sucked tiny bruises up Poe’s throat. Poe was gasping with each touch of Finn’s lips.  Finn hummed a sound of supreme satisfaction.

 

The unspoken conversation of who would top and who would bottom was an exchange of glances and nods.  Finn reached into his bedside table, grasping for a small container of lube.  He realized his hands were shaking.  He’d had sex before but he’d never…  He took a deep breath, grabbed the lube and a condom, and refocused on Poe, who seemed to sense what was going on.  Poe’s hand moved to the side of Finn’s face.  He smiled up at his lover, the crinkles next to his eyes all the more prominent.  Finn couldn’t get over how beautiful Poe was: that lopsided grin, those perpetually tousled curls, those large eyes so intent on him.  Finn gave Poe a small smile.

 

Finn took a moment to indulge in the feeling of Poe beneath him; he let his hands splay across Poe’s chest.  It was solid, taut, and so very warm, and this wasn’t some fantasy, some hastily thought-up image to help him jerk off.  This was really Poe, and they were really doing this.  Finn took a calming breath.  Poe’s hands began rubbing up and down Finn’s thighs.  One snaked up to the back of Finn’s head and pulled him into a long, slow kiss.  Finn quit breathing for a few seconds. 

 

As he came up out of the kiss, lightheaded and gasping for air, Finn rocked his hips.  Poe’s hands dug into Finn’s thighs as he fought the loud “Yes!” on his lips.  Poe shuddered and then began to arch ever so slightly into Finn.  Finn let his lips and hands explore Poe’s chest, loving the feel of Poe pressing up into him as he followed a dark trail of hair further and further down. 

 

Poe’s cock stood erect, leaking precum.  Finn slowly licked at the head, and Poe bit his lip to keep from talking.  Finn’s eyes darted to Poe’s mouth and that damn lip bite.  He smiled a wide smile.  Keeping his eyes on Poe’s delectable mouth, Finn kissed the head, barely touching his lips to it, before languidly slipping his tongue around it.  He forced himself to be slow, committing the taste of Poe to memory.  Poe’s hands grabbed at the sheets.  “Unnngh,” he breathed out, biting his lip even harder. 

 

Finn could feel the frustration in Poe, knew how much he wanted to talk, to tell Finn to hurry the hell up.  Finn chuckled as he began to swallow Poe’s cock at an almost glacial pace.  He loved the feel of it as he worked his mouth further and further down.  Poe bucked up his hips, urging him to move faster, and Finn laughed loud, humming around Poe, as he moved his hands to hold his lover firmly in place.  Poe whined as Finn stopped entirely before gradually starting to move his mouth again. 

 

Poe was not a patient man, and he realized that Finn was using that against him.  He just wanted to move, to speed this beautiful torture up.  He bit his lip again to keep from begging.  He slammed his head back into the bed as Finn’s hands slid from his hips to his legs; Poe screwed his eyes shut.

 

Finn pulled himself off of Poe’s cock, cherishing the anguished moan that elicited, and directed Poe’s knees up.  He brushed his chin across them, planting small kisses there.  That’s when one lubed finger began circling Poe, teasing him.  Poe grabbed at Finn’s head, making small begging noises almost non-stop.   Finn worked in one finger, peppering kisses up and down Poe’s stomach.  Then, two fingers.  Then three.  He was scissoring them.  By this point, Poe was uttering a litany of incomprehensible gibberish.  Finn decided that if he had to remember one image, one moment for the rest of his life, this was it: his head between Poe’s thighs; Poe coming beautifully undone beneath him.  Finn curled his fingers, and Poe’s whole body jerked with a loud moan.

 

Finn pulled out his fingers.  He met Poe’s eyes.  _Ready?_   Poe gave a quick nod.  He looked positively wrecked.  Finn couldn’t help but smile as he put on the condom, lubing up his cock and pressing it to Poe’s entrance.  Finn pushed in and Poe’s whole body tensed.  For one second, neither moved and then, as Poe exhaled, Finn began sliding in.  It felt like years before Finn bottomed out.  Poe was so tight and warm, and Finn’s eyes filled with tears as he began to pull back out again.

 

Finn wanted to take his time.  He really did, but as he started his next thrust, Poe ground up into him just right.  Every nerve was suddenly firing; Finn’s hands dug into Poe’s hips and Finn heard himself groan.  He slammed into Poe, who yelled Finn’s name.  He did it again and again.

 

Finn wretched Poe up towards him so they were chest to chest.  Poe’s teeth sunk into Finn’s shoulder.  Finn gasped out Poe’s name.  Poe clenched an arm around Finn’s neck, holding on for dear life.  He felt so perfectly full, and his every thought was _Finn_ , screamed over and over again in his head in time with each thrust.  Poe ran his hand up Finn’s sweat-slicked back, never wanting it to end.  He kissed Finn’s neck, trying to tell him with his oh-so-swollen lips just how good this felt.  Finn was now moaning an “Oh” with every thrust. 

 

At once, they fell backwards.  Finn let go of Poe as he started a pounding rhythm.  Poe’s hands clutched at the sheets and then grabbed at the headboard, holding on as if his life depended on it, as Finn’s thrusts came even harder.  Poe forced his eyes open, not wanting to miss a moment of this, wanting to watch Finn’s face until the very end.

 

In one perfect movement, Finn hit Poe’s prostate and Poe screamed, his hips bucking, his head tilting back.  He came untouched, clenching around Finn.  Two more thrusts and Finn was shouting, every muscle tensed as a blinding white light consumed his every pore. 

 

Finn’s body shuddered, and he barely caught himself with his arms as every muscle seemed to go out.  As the shuddering stopped and the world seemed to come back into focus, Finn lowered himself onto the bed.  He could hear Poe’s irregular breaths next to him.  He reached over, placing a hand on Poe’s chest, just to feel that he was really there.  For several minutes that’s all there was, that single touch and the breathing.

 

Eventually, Poe got up with a groan, searching the room.  He found a towel to clean them both up and then crawled back into bed.  Poe moved till he was hovering above Finn.  He pushed his nose forward, rubbing it against Finn’s and then gave him the lightest of kisses.  Finn’s eyes opened as he smiled up at his lover.  “ _The Knight’s Dilemma_ , huh?” 

 

Poe flopped back onto the bed.  “Seemed like a good place to start.”

 

Finn found Poe’s hand, twining his fingers with Poe’s, and closed his eyes.

                                                                                                                   

**# # # #**

 

Poe had no idea how long they’d slept.  He looked at the chrono.  _Kriff._   He’d need to get up and go back to his room to get his things in an hour or so.  Finn rolled onto his side, propping his head up with his hand.  “Do you need to leave?”

 

“Not just yet,” Poe said.  _Why did I volunteer for this mission?  The General could get someone else to take it_.  Poe sighed.  _But that’s not going to happen_.  He rubbed his eyes.  “Finn…”

 

Finn’s chest felt tight.  _Is this the blow off speech_?  “Look, Poe, I get it.  You don’t want to be tied down and…”

 

“What?  Stars, Finn, no, not that!  It’s just.  I mean, this was….” For once, Poe Dameron was at a loss for words.  “This was…  This was…”  He focused on Finn and his voice got soft.  “This was incredible.”  He laughed.  “Mind-blowing.  Amazing!  Whatever word you want to use.  And I’m glad we did it.  You have no idea how glad I am…”  Poe let out a long breath.  “But we…I mean we’re supposed to talk, right?  With our clothes on and both of us upright.  Talk about what we want, what we’re expecting from each other, what this is.”

 

Finn’s entire body relaxed, and he fell back down onto the bed.  “Right.”  Then, once he’d taken a deep breath or two, “Yeah, I’d like that.  This is all a bit new to me.”

 

“Wait, I thought you said you’d…”

 

“Yeah, Poe, I’ve had sex.  I’ve…oh man, I’m going to sound as bad as one of your novels.  I’ve never _made love_ before.”

 

Poe laughed.  He then rolled over, nuzzling Finn’s neck and hugging him.  “Baby, if it’s any consolation, I haven’t made love a lot either.  Mostly just sex.”  Finn kissed the top of Poe’s head and pulled him even closer.  “So, this is more than just—”

 

“Definitely more than just sex,” Poe said.

 

“Good,” Finn said, savoring the smell of Poe’s hair and how silky it felt tickling his lips.

 

Poe’s entire body tingled, as he listened to Finn’s soft sigh as he burrowed into Poe’s hair.  _This is going to be the longest three weeks of my life,_ Poe thought _._   He then said, more to himself than Finn, “But it’s only three weeks.  It’s going to fly by.  I’ll be back before we know it.”  They both knew that that was a lie.  Even if Poe’s mission went by the books—which they never did—and everything went according to plan—which never happened—it was going to be a long three weeks for both of them.  Still, Finn let Poe have his lie.  He nodded and mumbled, “Before we know it.”

 

“And then, there won’t only be the healthy adult stuff.  There will definitely be more sex, and next time we can even talk while we’re doing it.  I give great talk,” Poe said as he began to kiss a line up Finn’s throat.  Finn chuckled.  “I’d love to hear you in bed too, you know,” Poe said.

 

“Oh, don’t worry.  I don’t go for the play-by-play stuff, but when I’m not reenacting _The Knight’s Dilemma,_ I give pretty good talk, too, Dameron.”

 

A shudder ran through Poe at the thought of Finn’s filthy mouth and all the delicious things it might say.  And do.  _Got to refocus_.  “I pulled up a few more things I think you might enjoy on my datapad.  Just a few romance novels to keep you occupied while I’m away.”  Poe gave Finn his most mischievous grin.  “And if any of them happen to give you some ideas for something we can do when I get back, well, that wouldn’t be the worst thing ever…”

 

Finn laughed long and loud.  “Okay, so I’ll read up and get inspired by your trashy romance novels and _then_ we’ll have the mature talk about our feelings and such.”

 

“Sounds like a plan,” Poe hummed, tracing Finn’s Adam’s apple with his tongue.

 

“Good,” Finn said, trying not to let Dameron’s very gifted tongue distract him.  “You know, we still have some time right now…” 

 

“And?”  Poe pushed his head up so he could meet Finn’s eyes.

 

Finn suddenly rolled them over and pinned Poe to the bed.  His voice was low as he said, “And?  You’re a dangerous man, Poe Dameron, for making me want you, and tonight, I’m going to punish you for it.”

 

Poe would never doubt his taste in romance novels again.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So my first attempt at anything even remotely smutty; I have a much more profound respect for everyone who writes it now.
> 
>  
> 
> You can find me on tumblr: @cha-llamala


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